Wanderers in Eternity – Chapter 4 (Page 2)
Janaki could also remember the many times that her younger brother received beatings from Uncle Mahes for his stubborn behavior. Uncle Mahes showered Janaki with gifts and love while all he could show towards Ranganadan was hatred. This was evident even on their pilgrimage to Kataragama. It was on this trip that Uncle Mahes slapped Ranganadan for the first time. It was also on this trip that Janaki was loved in an unusual way by Uncle Mahes. This was the reason why she specially remembered the Kataragama journey. How his fingers came serching for her in the middle of the night while everybody was sleeping on the floor of the guest house Janaki still remembered with a shudder. But in that god’s country she did not utter a word, but accepted all of it for her mother’s sake. Uncle Mahes threatened her by saying that if she uttered a single word about this he would throw out her mother along with the two kids. That was why Janaki kept it all a secret. But to gods she told her sorrows. But so far, gods had not punished Uncle Mahes.
After returning from Kataragama, every time they were alone together in the house, Uncle Mahes took her in his arms. But he was never vicious enough to go beyond the restrictions. She sat on Uncle Mahes’s lap and let him do whatever he wanted to do please himself. At these times she just thought about her dead father. With him, she floated to a far away world. In that world there were no problems or sorrows. After Uncle Mahes reached a certain climax of satisfaction, he let her down from his lap and gave her palm jaggery or some candy. Janaki got used to these sweet offerings. But Ranganadan never received such gifts. Many times she kept some of the sweet hidden for her little brother.
But Ranganadan was not one to be satisfied with sweets and candy. All he wanted was Arunakshi whom he met on the way back from the Vallipuram Kovil. On their return journey they went to Valevetithurai to see a friend of Uncle Mahes. There near a store Ranganadan’s eye caught the sight of Arunakshi. Love could not be hidden. In Arunakshi’s snare of a stare Ranganadan’s heart got tangled.
After this, Ranganadan became a completely different person. He started arguing and fighting with mother from this point on. In the end he ran away from home after getting a good thrashing from Uncle Mahes. By then Janaki had married Shivankaram as Uncle Mahes willed. Shivankarm was an acceptable decent young man. He was timid and worked in his parent’s fields in Neveli. They grew vegetables, tobacco and onions. There were also a few mango trees in the yard. Shivankaram had a green thumb. When Janaki heard everyone’s comments that everything he planted grew effortlessly, she felt proud of her husband. At times she felt that Shivankaram loved the earth more than her. From dawn till dusk he toiled in the fields. In the evenings he would draw the water from the Anadi well to fertilize the soil. With his father, Amirthalingam he would take the harvest to Yalpanam. Most nights over exhausted he would fall asleep in the heat. Once in a while in the night he would wake up as if from a dream and awaken her to satisfy his urges. Everything was like a brief dream. Very soon Shivankaram would fall asleep again. Awake in the dark, Janaki would often stare at the palm thatched roof and think about a thousand things. Mother, father, brother, Uncle Mahes….. Uncle Mahes does not take her on to his lap anymore. All that had also become a dream of the past. Mother, father…. father…. it was Uncle Mahes who told her about how father died. Mother never talked about that. “Singhala people killed your father, Janaki,” Uncle Mahes revealed to her one day while she was sitting on his lap. “They poured petrol on him and burned him alive… You don’t remember all that. They are wicked people.” Janaki started to cry. Amidst all this she remembered a beggar woman. Didn’t that old beggar woman help her and her mother? But when Janaki could not stop her tears, Uncle Mahes comforted her by saying, “My girl, my golden girl.” “Golden girl….” Didn’t Shivankaram also call her that way when they first got married? But all that was temporary. “Jakanaki.”
Hearing Shivankaram’ voice, startled, Janaki lifted her head. All this time she had been in a reverie while looking at the face of her baby who was suckling at her breast in comfort. ” Let us go to the Kovil.” Hugging the baby, Janaki stood up. In Shivasankaram’s hand was a basket with five kinds of fruits. In his other hand was a bag containing milk, josh sticks, camphor cubes and a bottle of oil. His forehead was smeared with ash. He carried everything needed to satisfy the five elements of nature- earth, water, fire, air and ether, at the puja. He was dressed only in a white sarong. The sun had turned westward. The sounds of the conch shells, bells and drums coming from the temple, had all taken a high pitch. The baby woke up and started to cry. And to this added the cawing of the crows. Everything seemed chaotic. But it was a chaos with some sort of discipline. Further away from the entrance, the devotees who were flocking in front of the alter placed their offerings there. Some were pouring milk over the Shiva lingam- the black stone phallus that represented God Shiva. The inner sanctum showed another jet black stone phallus that symbolized the god. Around it gathered flowers and scented smoke skeins. More and more milk and honey were poured upon it. The sound of the many devotees mingled with all the other sounds. Amidst this some children were crying. In the yard, the dogs were wagging their tails. The monkeys that came down from the trees and landed on the high wall were enchanted by the smells of the offerings. Shivankaram who walked through the crowd neared the Shiva lingam within the inner sanctum and poured the milk from a bottle upon it. Janaki could see this action vaguely. Mostly she saw Shivnkarm’s dark naked back. When he worked in the fields it was this back covered with sweat that she stared at. A certain devotional emotion was born within her. This was a feeling of piety towards Shivankaram as well as towards the god. The scent of the flowers and smoke enhanced this emotion.
The child who was enchanted by all the din was now quietly staring. The sandalwood powder marking on his forehead appeared like a third eye to Janaki. The third eye of Shiva——- wouldn’t the whole world burn up into ashes if he stared with it? Her son did not have such a power. All power was with Shiva. To destroy everything and then rebuild everything form the ashes was Shiva’s duty.
The chanting of “Shiva, Shiva,” and “Om, Namo, Haro, Hara” all mingled in with the rhythm of the drums and the bells. “Shiva— Shiva—-Shiva—”.
Feeling her head reeling, Janaki moved away from the crowd and walked out to the temple grounds. Though it was not so crowded like the interior, quite a few people were milling about the courtyard. The sandy ground was slowly cooling off. The sand trod by thousands of feet was covered by footsteps. Everything was a chaos.
Hugging her baby, Janaki sat by the gate until Shivankaram came out of the temple. She remembered a story her mother told her when she was still a little girl. The way the city of Yalpanam got it’s name mother would tell like a very fascinating tale.