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“I already feel a great change within me, mother. I understand about the memories and desires that we carry from one lifetime to another. I understand that none of this belong to us. I know why I don’t like the smell of petrol…….”

“From your very young days, if ever you went in a bus, you threw up. You never could stand the of petrol.”

“Now that I know the reason behind all this, I can face the situation much better. Do you know why I am so good at math? That Sundaram was very good with accounting. He was saving money for his daughter’s dowry.”

Ajith could visualize the scene from the canal site in Delkanda Junction. He had a great urge to go there and see.

“I am going for a walk, mother.”

“Come home before it is too dark,” Mallika advised.

Ajith’s home was near the seventh mile post. To walk to Delkanda Junction from here it took him about half an hour. It was very slow walk. Gradually, the darkness fell all around. As he neared the canal shore, a faint twilight was spreading over the surroundings. Moving away from the crowds at the junction, he turned to the right. To the left of the main road, beyond the elephant eared Habarala plants on the shore of the canal, could be heard the laughter of the kids playing outside the shanties. Ajith stopped abruptly. He felt that the stop was right here.

There was a palm trunk laid across the canal like a bridge to the other side. He walked over it like a real pro and reached the area of the shanties. His heart was beating fast. He felt as if he were choking.

This appeared like very familiar surroundings. This is where his hut used to be. But did it belong to him now? Was he Sundaram? Or it is just a thought in his memory? Physically therewas no likeness or a connection between him and Sundaram. But in his thought was the pain of Sundaram. Ajith’s eyes were filling up with tears. Why? Why? Why did they kill me? Why did they kill an innocent man that why? As his heart began to beat faster and faster he sat down in front of the hut.

A young boy came running to him asked, “Are you all right, sir?”

“Yes, yes, I am alright. My leg started hurting.”

“Saman, give the gentleman a chair to sit down,” a woman who stood by the door of the hut said.

“No, don’t brother.”

“Why are you here to meet someone?” the woman asked.

“No, I just came for a walk this way….” Saying this, Ajith stood up. Didn’t Sunsaram bury his pot of money around here somewhere? After he died, his wife must have taken out the money and gone up to Jaffna. Does Janaki know any of this? Janki’s mother, that is, Sundarm’s wife, could she still be alive?

“Are you in a pain, sir?”

“No, no, I am O.K. now. My let got twisted.” Ajith rubbed his shin. “How many years these houses have been here?”

“Oh, they have been here for a long time, sir. If you cannot go across that palm trunk, there is a bridge you can go across further up.”

“No, I can manage.”

While the woman and the boy kept looking, Ajith crossed the muddy canal and reached the road. Everything was engulfed in darkness very quickly. Just like the day had become night, one life had become another. Yet, the day was connected to the night. But, night was not day, Ajiththought.

Was he chasing a mirage? By the time he got home, father was home as well. Seeing his father’s face, Ajith realized that mother must have said something about his earlier conversation with her.

“I have heard about that reverend Subuthi as well,” father struck up a conversation.

“I don’t like to talk about that now, father.” Ajith said before going into his room. Mother and father looked at each other’s faces. Ajith decided to sit down and talk with his father at a later time. Every day he was waiting for a letter from reverend Subuthi. Although he wrote one more time to the monk, he did not get a quick reply.

By the time Ajith received a reply, two months had elapsed. On seeing the monk’s handwriting, Ajith’s hands started to shake.

“Mr. Ajith,” the monk had started the letter.

“I delayed writing back until Dr. Saminadan in Neveli provided me with some information. The woman named Janaki Sundaram is not living there anymore. After her husband had disappeared, Janaki had gone to live with her mother in Puttur. Her address in Puttur I am enclosing herewith. But going there at this time would be very dangerous and risky.

But I have arranged a way for you to see her. She comes to see her son Vasantharaja. He was in the Tiger movement. He had been taken into custody after the attack on the Nodhipura village. Now Vasantharaja is in Vavuniya at a prison camp. If you would like to, you can meet him as well.

I have found out a day that Janaki comes to Vavuniya. Next month, on the third. If you like to, come to the temple the day before, then we can go to the Vauniya camp the next day. Send me a reply.

May the triple gem bless you!

Subuthi of Thissarawewa……

Mallika watched as Ajith read the letter. She could see a pleasant smile drawing across her son’s face.

“What is the priest saying, son?”

Without uttering a single word, Ajith handed the letter to his mother. After reading the contents, Mallike asked “So are you going to see what it’s about?”

“Why not……”

“Shall we come too?”

“M….. no, mother. That I don’t like.”

“I talked with father as well.”

“This is something I have to go alone and face by myself. Maybe, on a later date……”

“Your sister is very curious too.”

“I told you ….some other time…….”

“O.k ,o.k., as you wish.” Mallika agreed. Her only happinss was seeing her son coming out of the shell that he had crawled into.

Quietly, she thanked and gave to reverend Subuthi.